by Dom Gazzuolo
“Ugh…wha…” A startled man pokes his head out from a low line
of bushes. He rubs his head and looks around while he winces. His surroundings
consist of a tree spattered area with an occasional shrub much like the one the
man has awoken from within. The trees nearby have unnatural gashes and a few arrows
sticking out of them.
As the skinny tattered man slowly picks himself off of the ground he
is revealed to be wearing a Hydra uniform. As he stretches and twists his aches
out, a purple feathered arrow is seen sticking out of a butt cheek. He is
surprised to look down and find the arrow, but then pauses and recalls (in his
head) how it came to be sticking from his right rear cheek. With a grit of his
teeth, and a quick jerk, the HYDRA soldier removes the arrow. After a brief
chill-like shutter, the man walks about the deserted area…with a limp.
Bringing his hand to a scarred tree he traces a set of 3
slash marks with his fingers.
“He hates trees. Ha!”
A slight noise in the background takes the soldier out of
his personal humorous moment. He looks off into the distance.
“A truck!”
The man runs quickly and awkwardly (because of the wound)
towards the sound until he hits a road cutting through the forested area.
Coming up slowly is a pick-up truck. The man tries to knock some of the dirt off
of himself, stands out in the road and puts his hands-up to flag the truck
down. The truck comes to a slow stop in front of him.
A single man is staring back at the Hydra soldier. The
pick-up truck driver is wearing an old tattered baseball cap and smoking a
cigarette.
“Hey. Thanks,” the soldier says as he begins to walk to the
driver-side window. “I was w…”
“Get in the back,” the driver says dryly without turning his
gaze from straight down the road.
The soldier looks at the empty truck bed.
“Umm, yeah. Okay.” He hops in the back. “Are we going into a
town or…”
Vroom! The truck starts up and they begin to move along
without an answer from the driver.
The sun starts to drop when the truck finally comes upon a
stretch of road which is finally accompanied by a few structures. The driver takes
the truck up to the front of a tavern, stops, waits a moment, then reaches his
arm out the truck window and slaps the side of the door a couple of times.
“Come on,” the driver grunts.
“Oh..” The disheveled soldier shuffles to his feet and jumps out the
back. “Sorry, I didn’t know we were stopping here…”
Vroom! The pick-up truck drives off leaving the soldier to
stare after it down the road, into the night. He sighs and turns to the little
bar-like outpost sandwiched between parked trucks and motorcycles.
The soldier steps in to find a dimly lit tavern filled with
a few locals playing pool and a couple loners sitting at the bar. No
television…just a bar with random alcohol brand signs and a few old photos on
the wall, behind the booze bottles.
Reaching into a ridiculous pouch on his belt, the soldier
double checks to make sure he has his wallet and calls to the bar-keep for a
beer.
“Beer. Anything cold and in a bottle.”
The Hydra soldier stands at the bar. The bar-keep snaps the
top off the bottle and hands the beer over.
“Man. You would not believe the day I’m having,” starts the
soldier trying to make small talk with the bar-keep. “Those Avengers…am I
right, buddy?”
The bar-keep stares at the skinny and tattered looking Hydra
soldier for a moment then just turns and walks towards the other end of the
bar.
After a pause and a swig, a gruff voice interrupts the
silence, “Why don’t you take a seat and tell me about it, bub?”
“Umm, I don’t think I can sit. It’s kind of a…pain issue,”
replies the soldier as he looks forward, while rubbing his backside.
“Aw come on…it’s not like you were shot in the ass with an
arrow.”
Confused, the soldier turns to see Wolverine sitting at the
bar hunched over wearing a cowboy hat, drinking a beer. Just beyond him is an
arrow sticking straight-up from the bar, with bills impaled on the arrow’s
shaft. Wolverine pops his claws with the hand
holding his beer bottle.
“Take a seat, and I won’t hurt you.”
The soldier quickly sits next to Wolverine.
“Ughhh,” lets out the soldier as he sits down and feels the
pain from his arrowed ass-wound.
“Drink up kid. The booze’ll help.”
30 minutes later…
“…but seriously, I didn’t see what happened but you sure
messed-up some trees from the looks of things, when I came to. Ha! Why do you
hate trees?”
The hydra soldier is now drunk and leaning too close to
Wolverine as he rambles on.
“Truth is…them trees had it coming though, huh? Always
stand’n there instead of leaf’n us alone.”
The soldier drunkenly smiles and pauses as he looks at Wolverine for a
reaction to his horrible joke. Wolverine lowers his head and shuts his eyes in
disgust.
“Cause trees have leafs! Get it! Ah man…! Wolverine…hey…I…hey!
Can I call you Wolver?”
“No.”
“Wolver, you’re not so bad. I don’t know why I was sent to
track you and… Hey! How did you know I was tracking you earlier today? And
since when do you go shooting people with arrows. I understand cutting up some
trees who wood-n’t…(the soldier pauses and looks for a reaction to his pun)…fuck
man…an arrow?!”
“I don’t shoot arrows. That was Hawkeye. He was with me earlier.”
“Hawkguy? Never heard of him. Sounds like a…”
“Hawkeye! The Avenger…”
“Ohhhh! Hahaha! Eye…”
The soldier laughs and takes another drink of beer then rubs
his ass and winces.
“He didn’t have to shoot me. F-ing Hawkguy…”
“Alright kid…,“ Wolverine throws a bunch of cash on the bar
and begins to get up. “Thanks for the…conversation. Gotta go.”
The soldier flinches back a bit.
“Umm, do I have to come with you? Am I going to…jail or
something?”
“You wanna go to jail or something?,” Wolverine asks.
“No, Wolver.”
“Good. Cuz I don’t want you on my bike and I had my fill of
you already. Don’t come after me again.”
“No, Wolver…I mean yes…I mean, I won’t.”
“Good. Cuz next time I’m not buying your beer and there
won’t be any trees for me to take it out on.”
Wolverine walks out of the bar and leaves the soldier
behind.
The drunken Hydra soldier just stares towards the door and
pauses for a moment…lost in drunken thought.
Crack! The sound of another round of pool snaps the drunken soldier
out of his drunken day-dream. He spins back around towards the bar with a smile
on his face and a beer in hand. He slams his bottle down.
“Bar-keep! Another round! …’any trees to take it out on’…heh,
heh. Classic Wolver.”
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